Do not use 'Connect to iTunes'. The driver connects directly with your iDevice. You do not need to disable anything.
Exit calibre. Start iTunes. Connect your iDevice with a USB cable. When you see it listed in the DEVICES section of iTunes, start calibre.
If calibre is not recognizing your connected iDevice, then your iDevice needs to be added to the plugin. See the instructions in post #1 to add the USB profile of your device so I can add it to the plugin.
Everything you need to know is in post #1.