’Twas the Night Before ......... MURDER!!
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
All the mods were a-stirring1, including Grand Mouse2.
The stockings were hung up by dreams with great care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.
*tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap*
"Just about done, dreams
?" asked Dr. Drib
"Yup! All the stockings are now hung on the mantelpiece3
, and just waiting to be filled with goodies tonight!". dreams
set her hammer down on the mantelpiece and stepped back to survey4
her work. Ten stockings were hanging along the mantel, one noticeably thinner than the others.
"It's not fair! I can't help it if I have skinny legs5
! All you guys have stockings big enough to fill with gadgets! But you can barely fit a stylus in mine!" whined poohbear_nc
hid his smile as he returned to his laptop, where he was monitoring MobileRead for spam, while the rest of the team finished up the holiday decorations in the Moderator Lounge. Clouds of fragrant6
pipe smoke hung over his head as he zapped yet another bold attempt to post spammy holiday messages.
, you know Christmas is all about giving -- not receiving! It's the size of your heart that matters, not the size of your presents" admonished 7 dreams
"Or the size of your drumsticks8
" snickered pilotbob
"Sssh! Don't tease pooh
! It's Christmas!" said dreams
," said pilotbob
, "here are some more albums for you to look at."
"Aren't you supposed to be hanging the lights on the roof tonight, pilotbob
"Yeah, but first I want to fuel up 9
on this wicked punch pdurrant
, why are you looking through all of those photo albums tonight?" asked pdurrant
, as he stirred 10
the bubbling contents of the huge punch bowl.
"It's this darn international community! I'm trying to find a new avatar that won't be considered edible, but apparently all cultures consume poultry11
continued to flip page after page, dreams
leaned over and whispered to pdurrant
, "Here's a bottle of special holiday spirits to add to the punch! I found it in the back of the MobileRead wine cellar. Let's liven up this evening a bit!"
uncorked the bottle and poured the green contents into the punch bowl, which almost erupted before calming back down. He continued to stir vigorously, as he added more "secret spices" to his brew.
-- let me taste the punch now" asked pilotbob
, waving his empty cup. "It looks like it's packing quite a punch now! Get it? Punch ... packing a punch12
A muted groan13
ran around the room at pilotbob
's latest, and worst, attempt at holiday humor.
"Sorry, no one can have any more punch now - it has to simmer14
a while -- I'm using my own family recipe for mulled wine15
." explained pdurrant
"And it even contains its own heat source" observed Dr. Drib
, using his pipe to point out the tiny green flames dancing on the bubbling surface of pdurrant
's witches brew.
"Don't forget pooh
-- you're in charge of popping the corn to string on the tree." said dreams
"Putting a chicken in charge of the corn" sniggered pilotbob
, emptying his cup and heading towards the window. "I'll just open this window a bit to clear out Dr. Drib
's smoke - it's so thick that someone could get murdered in this room and no one would notice."
"No! Don't open the window! I don't want to be in a draft16
!" shrieked poohbear_nc
. "I catch colds easily."
"Oh for heaven's sake! Why don't you warm yourself up in the microwave while you're popping the corn?" pilotbob
hastily left the room after this parting jab and headed out to find the ladder.
Once the door had slammed behind pilotbob
, peace again descended upon the festive room and dreams
returned to her decorating.
[End of Episode 1]
1 a-stirring: in heller Aufregung sein
2 Grand Mouse bezieht sich auf unseren Moderator pdurrant, sein Avatar zeigt eine Maus.
3 mantelpiece: Kaminsims; traditionellerweise der Ort, an dem in den USA Weihnachtsstrümpfe aufgehängt werden. Sie sollen vom Weihnachtsmann (hier Saint Nicholas) befüllt werden.
4 to survey: begutachten
5 poohbear_nc ist einer unserer buchstäblich geflügelten Moderatoren. Sein Avatar zeigt gewöhnlich ein Hühnchen. Seine Beine sind entsprechend dünn und der für ihn vorgesehen Weihnachtsstrumpf ebenso.
6 fragrant: duftend, aromatisch
7 to admonish: ermahnen
8 drumsticks: Hähnchenschlegel
9 to fuel up on: einem Getränk extra Pfeffer verabreichen (durch Zufügen von mehr Alkohol)
10 to stir: umrühren
11 edible: essbar
12 to pack a punch: kräftig zuschlagen
13 muted groan: ein gedämpftes Stöhnen
14 to simmer: köcheln
15 mulled wine: Glühwein
16 draft: Zug(luft)