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Old 12-09-2012, 11:30 AM   #7
jhempel24
Wizard
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Okay...this is exactly what was written to me, and a link to what I've written to see what he's talking about

https://www.box.com/s/bblll2b2z77ok61evwkh

Quote:
Two pieces of advice to start with, Joe Hempel

1) Get right to the action. Set your scene on the fly, not as your opener. You have 6 seconds to grab a reader by the short hairs and pull them into your story. You're not gonna do that by describing a barn. You lost me in the first 3 seconds.

2) Dialogue isn't a recording of how people speak. It's battle... and its should say something about the relationship between the characters and/or move the story forward: eg:

"Samantha, Dear... Come help with Supper!"
"What? Are Brian's arms broken?"

"Samantha, Dear... Come help with Supper!"
"I'm not hungry"

"Samantha, Dear... Come help with Supper!"
"It better not be leftovers again!"

etc etc. Again... dialogue is NOT an account of people speaking the way they would in real life. It's battle.
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