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Old 06-13-2012, 04:07 PM   #35
frahse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
I think that's an improvement. It pretty much reinforces the story as described in the text. I'm still not sold on the yellow, but if it's a recognisable feature of your books, then you should stick with it.
If the yellow is a "carryover" as orlok said, then fine.

I usually try not to critique but I really like the model and the position, boot and all. Yes he is a little neat for a skinhead, but hell a guy can spruce up for his girl, can't he? He might want to take her into a nice establishment.
It does however, like gmw said, seem to lack something more pertinent to the romantic event.

Perhaps if the the right hand or the left for that matter, had something whimsical, from the girl, say a bandana? You could try putting it, the pretty bandana, around his neck, or draped over the knee. I would at least dirty up his boot sole. Even blood. A little blood on the bandana perhaps?
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