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Old 12-30-2010, 05:02 PM   #782
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
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Looking back at it, Biggles was amazed that he was able to remember anything of what happened next. One minute, he was lying on the floor, being trod upon by participants in a brawl, the next, he was looking up into a rip in the universe. He really felt that he should have brought his camera along, just to have something more to describe it to others than, "Sparkly in a banana-ish sort of way."

Everyone in the room turned their eyes to the center of the room just as an invisible gibbon dropped out of the rift, right onto the head of the biggest German peasant. He proceeded to try to rip the man's ears off through the other side of his head. After that, things got strange.

The Ninja Squirrels suddenly changed sides and started whacking away at their former allies and most of the Germans fled the room. The ones who didn't were, in fact, already unconscious. Hilda screamed in outrage and advanced on the invisible gibbon, who was riding his victim's head like a mechanical bull.

"You little putz!" she screamed, "Ve had a contract!"

Just as she passed Biggles, he stuck out his foot and the teutonic juggernaut fell down screaming curses in three languages. Deciding that there was really no reason to continue hiding on the floor, he stood up. Besides, he had not really spent a lot of time thinking of how to ignite the dynamite in a fashion that did not actually damage himself in the process. He just hoped that none of the Germans was a smoker.

A distant BOOM! sounded outside and dust fell from the roof. So much for wishes, he thought. Walking over to the prone German Spy, he reached down and grabbed her by the ear. Ups she came, docile as anyone could be. Years of boarding school discipline had shown Biggles just how to handle such situations.

"Now, see here, my good lady! You and your peasant force of not actual peasants need to scarper off and be done with all this!"

Everyone in the room, including the invisible gibbon turned as one toward Biggles. Getting something right was not in his nature, after all.

"Cuba is under the protection of the United States and always will be! No hostile government will ever be allowed to take up residence ninety miles off the coast!"

"How did you know what we were planning?" asked a subdued Hilda.

"I swiped a copy of the script while the director was at the concessions wagon."

Miyatake came up behind Hilda and gently pulled her away. He was murmuring soothing words in her ear as they fled the room. "There there, my dear! We'll get back at them. We can get posted to some out of the way place where these dreadful people will never go to and plot the revenge we now so richly deserve." Hilda fell in love at that very moment.

"Well, that... was interesting," said Dr Montsnmags as the remaining upright German toppled over from the sheer shock of having a gibbonous headgear screaming in his ears.

"Jolly good!" said Biggles. "Now all we need is a few postscripts and we can all break for lunch, what?"
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