Voice over scene of glistening river in a tropical area:
In the jungles of Central America, two people will soon learn the meaning of True Love.

Vivaldi (wearing goggle helmet) According to Wiki, True Love is a short story by Isaac Asimov.

Harv (flying plane) I don't think that's what he meant, Viv.

V But he said that two people would learn the meaning of true love. I just thought I'd save some time by looking it up on the M.A.R.V.I.N.

Voice over That was just hollywood hype.

H Viv, do you always have to mess things up?

V I was just trying to be helpful. Sheesh!

Vera (From back of plane) Would you two shut up? They were just getting to the good part!

Voice over as the Goose flies past the camera, into the sunset: Vera and Harv in Mexico City. Coming soon to a forum near you! (Do I get paid extra for working with a dog?)

Voice over scene of glistening river in a tropical area:
In the jungles of Central America, two people will soon learn the meaning of True Love.

Vivaldi (wearing goggle helmet) According to Wiki, True Love is a short story by Isaac Asimov.

Harv (flying plane) I don't think that's what he meant, Viv.

V But he said that two people would learn the meaning of true love. I just thought I'd save some time by looking it up on the M.A.R.V.I.N.

Voice over That was just hollywood hype.

H Viv, do you always have to mess things up?

V I was just trying to be helpful. Sheesh!

Vera (From back of plane) Would you two shut up? They were just getting to the good part!

Voice over as the Goose flies past the camera, into the sunset: Vera and Harv in Mexico City. Coming soon to a forum near you! (Do I get paid extra for working with a dog?)
:pandalol:
paid extra ??? they're already paying the dog extra for working with a pshrynk, i'm not sure how much of a budget they've got. :rolleyes:

Twice upon a time there were the greatest lovers ever born. Harv, being born in the twelfth century, never knew the exquisite joy of meeting the woman he was made for, since Vera was born in the twentieth.

It would have been a real page turner of a story, though.

The end.

I swear, I read a story once that had that identical subject.
There was a man who spent his life trying to find his one true love, or'soul mate' .

Many adventures later, he dies never realizing, or maybe he does, he one true love lived and died centuries before he was born.

So sad because he missed out on enjoying the life he had.

Back to the show.......

In the twilit streets of a disreputable part of Mexico City, a furtive figure darted from shadow to shadow. Slipping quietly into the darkened doorway of a run down cantina, the shadowy character pulled a veil tighter around the already masked face.

"Quien es?" asked a voice from the interior.

"It is me, you shtupid leetle man!" came the booming baritone of a woman who meant not to be trifled with.

"Que?"

"Nein! Mine name ist not Kay! Didn't they tell you to expect me?"

"Senora! Please! You have to go through the motions with me or I cannot let you in!"

"I vill be talking with your superior about this!"

"Whatever! Quien es?"

"Grumble grumble grumble... I have with me ze RED BOX!"

"But there is a small wind tonight."

"I don't give a light breeze in Farking about the wind, but if you insist, Not while the chowder is boiling."

"That's not going with the whole spirit of things, now is it? Enter, friend and be welcome. Damned Germans!"

"I heard zat!"

The large woman entered the cantina and pulled the scarf from her head.

"Ah, Frau Miyatake! It is about time that you arrived! We have been expecting you!"

"Not accordink to ze moron at the front door!"

"I don't give a light breeze in Farking about the wind, but if you insist, Not while the chowder is boiling."
:rofl:

so, we will discover what frau miyatake has been up to !!! what dastardly plots can she have hatched during the hiatus ?? what diabolical projects is she preparing ??? and what is in the red box ???? (a squid ?)

Vera sat in her office and made a desultory attempt at doing her work. Somehow, encryption analysis for the Army OIS just wasn't doing it for her today. She and Harv had had another fight and she just could care less about the Japanese Grand Fleet operations off the coast of Mexico, right now. Why did he have to be such a hard head about things like security clearance? She picked up a twix and looked it over briefly.

"Send a fish out to Point Blue and threaten anything that moves" she wrote on the dispatch and threw it in the Out box.

Her intercom buzzed. Happy to have any distraction, she slapped the key down. "Yeah?"

"Vera, my dear! How are you doing today?" came Biggles' cheery voice. "I was about to nip out for lunch and wondered if you'd care to join me?"

"Does it involve inappropriate contact?"

"I should say not!" There was a level of indignation in Biggles' voice only heard when he was losing badly at poker. Which was to say, often, but not usually in the office.

"Oh, well, I suppose I could go, anyway." Vera was really bored.

"Good! I need to talk with you about our friend Miyatake. More to the point his wife."

"What's up with Hilda?"

"I would rather discuss this where there are fewer chances of being overheard."

"I understand! Meet me at the front door in five minutes."

aha ! they know she's up to no good !!!

Harv slowly opened his eyes, fearful of what awful thing he might see. It was worse than he could imagine and he quickly closed them and screamed lightly.

"You okay, boss?" asked Vivaldi.

"Why are you upside down?"

"I'm not."

Harv did some quick calculations in his head. "Then why am I upside down?"

"Well, you wre a little drunk last night..."

"That I knew already." Damn Vera and her security protocols, anyway! "What else?"

Harv re-opened his eyes and stared at the, to him, upside down nstrils of his dog, Vivaldi. Well, Vivaldi would argue that he was his own dog, and he merely worked for Harv, but the nature of canis domesticus was such that he soon came back to begging for skritch and a tug on the old knotted socks.

"Well, ever since those socks moved in next door, they've been a bit spooked whenever I come around to visit. The one with the safety pins and tattoos even pulled a knife on me, once."

"And this has something to do with me being upside down, how?"

"Apparently, they set some snares. So, when you were stumbling around last night..."

"Got it. Why are they upset with you? What did you do?"

"Why's it always my fault? Did you ever think that a pair of smart wool socks might have paranoia issues? Might it not be that they are the parties to the complaint that may be in the wrong?"

"No. What did you do?"

"Well, I might have tried playing fetch with one of them. But just once."

"Just cut me down, will you?"

"Well, ever since those socks moved in next door...

JOY !!!!!!

...
Voice over as the Goose flies past the camera, into the sunset:
...

I'd like this even better if it said "drives". ;)

...
"I don't give a light breeze in Farking about the wind
...

:pandalol:

Cheers,
Marc

In a forest in China, two pandas sat in a bamboo grove, munching their dinner.

"Did you hear something?" the first panda, who oddly enough, was named Steve Jordan.

"No," said the second panda.

"Huh. Could have sworn I heard someone screaming, 'The frogs! The terrible frogs!' Must have been something I ate..."

In a forest in China, two pandas sat in a bamboo grove, munching their dinner.

"Did you hear something?" the first panda, who oddly enough, was named Steve Jordan.

"No," said the second panda.

"Huh. Could have sworn I heard someone screaming, 'The frogs! The terrible frogs!' Must have been something I ate..."

:lolfrog!!: :theterriblelolfrog!!!:

"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"Why is the sky all orange with green stripes?"

"Is this another one of your strange philosophical questions, Lefty?"

"No. What's philosphical?"

"Never mind. Look, I'm looking right at the sky and it is definitely not orange with green stripes. That is a MacGregor tartan if ever I..."

"I feel strange, Hugo."

"Well, that might have something to do with the fact that you just turned into a cauliflower. Something is going on here."

"I feel like I'm being eaten by a panda, Hugo."

"Just be quiet for a minute, Lefty. I'm trying to figure this out. AND WHAT ARE THOSE FROGS DOING HERE?!?!?!?!?!"

"Oh, wow, man! Look what happens when I move my heel like this!" The room was suddenly filled with giggles.

"What the heck was that author on?"

"I think he said something about Jack Daniels and Bathtub Acid."

"Oh, ghod, Lefty, he's trying to replicate abisinthe again! Run for it!"

"Can I bring my frog with me?"

"AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Abisinthe maketh the heart grow fonther.

:groooan:

"Lefty... you sneak up on the left. I'll go right."

"Huh? This way?"

"No, LEFT... umm, big-toe-wise. I'll go pinky-toe direction, and then on the signal, pounce."

"Ok."

"We'll trap this weird impostor sock mutant thing once and for all."

"I think it's a hand. Pretending to be a sock."

"Yeah. Be careful, they come in pairs."

"Oh no! We're in Paris, too!"

"No, PAIRS. Hands come in PAIRS. There could be another one around."

"A PAIRS of psockpuppets? I'm scared. How many is that?"

"Never mind. Be quiet, wait for the signal. You remember the signal?"

"Yes. You yell 'POUNCE'."

"That is what we ended up with, isn't it? OK."

"Hugo!"

"What?"

"Why are we pouncing pscockpuppet again? We're scared, right? We don't like him. Right?"

"Yes, right, why?"

"Because you don't seem like you're scared pouncey. You seem more happy pouncey".

"I... umm. Well. Ok. We don't know it's a him yet, and well... I like blondes. Wait, Lefty! Where are you going! You're my wing man, stop! Wait!"

"I'm leaving. The last time you tried to make me happy pounce I hurt my shronk."

"Lefty... you sneak up on the left. I'll go right."

"Huh? This way?"

"No, LEFT... umm, big-toe-wise. I'll go pinky-toe direction, and then on the signal, pounce."
wait, lefty's big toe ? or hugo's ? because, lefty being on the left, i would think big-toe-wise would be lefty's right. or am i wrong about that ?

"Yeah. Be careful, they come in pairs."

"Oh no! We're in Paris, too!"
:pandalol: paaaa hahahaha !!!!!

"Because you don't seem like you're scared pouncey. You seem more happy pouncey".
ooh, happy pouncey. look out, psockpuppet. :wink3:

I'm croaking up here ....

"The thing is," said Biggles, "We aren't exactly sure that she's involved with anything that Miyatake was getting up to, at all. But she just up and disappeared the same day that that little contretemps on Lake Gatun took place."

"Any idea where she went?" asked Vera.

"Our man at the Airport said that she was seen leaving on a flight to Mexico City."

"That's like three plane changes away. How do you know that was her destination?"

"He pinched her handbag and looked at her ticket."

"Then you were suspicious to begin with?"

"No, he's just a kleptomaniac. Dr Montsnmags is working with him on getting over that, so he returned it to her without her being aware."

"He must be a good pick pocket, then."

"Well, Dr Montsnmags is working with him..." Biggles trailed off and looke ill at ease.

Vera shuddered as she thought of the possible 'alterations' that may have been added.

"Well. there's nothing for it. I have to go to Mexico City and track down what this Teutonic hussy is up to!" Vera stood and took the check. She knew Biggles well enough to avoid the inevitable extended embarrassing moment as he tried to avoid the tab.

"Why not just send a message to the Embassy? Surely they have agents that can track her?"

"Yes, but I need to pick up some Talavera pottery for Christmas presents for my Mom." Vera turned and walked from the cantina.

As she walked away, she vaguely heard Biggles calling after her, "But Christmas was last week!"

"That's the beauty of international shipping, it takes weeks and you can send a wire inquiring about the package you haven't yet shipped and it won't seem strange," she called over her shoulder.

"Well, Dr Montsnmags is working with him..."


he's cheap - at any price .....

Mexico City - A jillion people under a scary volcano, plus Hilda and the socks.

Do Harv and Viv realize how big the airport is there? I hope they brought their walking shoes.

"Well, Dr Montsnmags is working with him..."


he's cheap - at any price .....

It's never the "price"; it's the cost:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1204/861489316_5cdb89774b_o.jpg (http://ffffound.com/image/bd8c705251dac6b3ab38d5ff1e00f06288396895)

Cheers,
The (other) Doctor

That's just disturbing.

He was relaxed, just as he always was. Except for that time recently when he had been split in two parts. That led to some strange experiences, even for him.

Now, he knew what he needed to do. It was all clear. He laid his cards on the table. And grinned.


The squid glanced over at the hand that the gibbon had dropped on the green felt and sighed as only squids can sigh. He looked at his opponent and gave a look that said, "I could actually buy it that you had a Royal Flush once, given that the odds are there that it could happen, but three in one night? That defies the odds, even for an invisible lesser ape. However, given your propensity to random violence, I'm going to turn up my full house and push the pot towards you.*"

He was relaxed, just as he always was. Except for that time recently when he had been split in two parts. That led to some strange experiences, even for him.

Now, he knew what he needed to do. It was all clear. He laid his cards on the table. And grinned.


The squid glanced over at the hand that the gibbon had dropped on the green felt and sighed as only squids can sigh. He looked at his opponent and gave a look that said, "I could actually buy it that you had a Royal Flush once, given that the odds are there that it could happen, but three in one night? That defies the odds, even for an invisible lesser ape. however, given your propensity to random violence, I'm going to turn up my full house and push the pot towards you.*"

poor thing. a squid that sensitive and intelligent *knows* he'll never beat an invisible, inadvertently violent gibbon at cards, but what's he going to do ?

poor thing. a squid that sensitive and intelligent *knows* he'll never beat an invisible, inadvertently violent gibbon at cards, but what's he going to do ?

The same thing I do with him:


Cheat
Run


Cheers,
Marc (I've always wanted to watch a squid run)

As Harv dangled by one foot from the snare, he wondered what Vera as up to. He determined that he was through with her, once and for all. It wasn't like they were committed. Or at least not in the sense of spending their lives together. She was just too... predictably unpredictable. Every time they got close enough to think about taking the next step in their relationship, she picked an argument on some technical ground and the whole process started over. Yes. Through. Definitely.

"So, have you thought about my proposal?" asked Vivaldi.

"Um... Sorry?"

"It's a simple matter of you letting me pick the radio stations when we're flying and me then cutting you down."

"Look, this is arguably all your fault anyway, so why not just cut me down and I'll give you a treat?"

"And here's me, fresh out of opposable thumbs!"

"I may have lost my knife, but I still have a gun, you know."

"It's a simple exchange of goods and services, Harv! Besides, I can run around in circles faster than you can swing yourself to get a good aim."

"I hate the music you play! I only tolerate it for half the flight because I'm trying to be fair. And I could just randomly fire behind me, you know."

"And possible hit the Goose, with all that aviation fuel..."

Just then, two wool socks, one of them with a safety pin in its cuff ran by, giving the impression that they were screaming. A blue colored frog hopped after them.

oh BRILLIANT !!! thank god the holidays are over at last and we can get back to what really counts : the saga of harv and vera (and vr and hugo and lefty and the squid and, apparently, now at least one frog) !!!!!

And you've still got to be rescued in Slite's story thread.

yes i do, which reminds me, where is slite ???? he hasn't been around for ages. i hope he's alright.

how DOES a sock - run .....?

how DOES a sock - run .....?

I think socks hop. Haven't you heard of a "sock hop"?!

Dreamer

Socks run the same way spaceships "fly" and anti-gravity "works" and movie heroes take a kick to the face.

how DOES a sock - run .....?
Well you need two of them...

Tights and stockings run all the time. They even get ladders.
So why can't socks?

(insert joke here about this being darned silly.)

Tights and stockings run all the time. They even get ladders.
So why can't socks?
seems so obvious now, doesn't ? who asked this question, anyway ? i bet they feel silly now. :rolleyes:
(insert joke here about this being darned silly.)
aaargg !! :p

Of course socks can run!

Put a coloured sock in the washing machine with your best white top, and you'll very quickly discover socks can run... ;)

yes i do, which reminds me, where is slite ???? he hasn't been around for ages. i hope he's alright.

I saw him (well, only his name) this morning. I wanted to say hi and wish him a Happy New Year - but gone he was again.

how DOES a sock - run .....?
The red ones and white ones can run around the bases.:rolleyes:

And if they can sing like they do here they should be able to run.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC9ftIE8XRQ

Of course socks can run!

Put a coloured sock in the washing machine with your best white top, and you'll very quickly discover socks can run... ;)


no, that's swimming, not running ..... :D

Well you need two of them...

No point entering a three-legged race - then ?

no, that's swimming, not running ..... :D


Hugo and Lefty are amphibious socks.
(Just like James Bond's car.)

Hugo and Lefty are amphibious socks.
(Just like James Bond's car.)


they are also likely to be ambidextrous ... to boot....

they are also likely to be ambidextrous ... to boot....

Probably to shoe too. I'd say to sandal, but Hugo especially seems a bit too stylish...

If stylish; then scandal and socks do not together go !

Sandals and Socks? These socks are in Paris, not Germany!

Though interestingly, they speak English, and at least one of them has a "Made in China" tag, though it appears to be an afterthought, as if part of a hasty disguise.

There was a man who spent his life trying to find his one true love, or'soul mate' .

Many adventures later, he dies never realizing, or maybe he does, his one true love lived and died centuries before he was born.


There are some "Highlander" stories about now, where the hero was born centuries BEFORE his one true love. The local wizard fixed that by zapping The Highlander (and his buds) into the current century. :)

I
"Grumble grumble grumble... I have with me ze RED BOX!"

"But there is a small wind tonight."

"I don't give a light breeze in Farking about the wind, but if you insist, Not while the chowder is boiling."

"That's not going with the whole spirit of things, now is it? Enter, friend and be welcome. Damned Germans!"


Someone's been re-reading Pratchett's "Guards, Guards!". I just started it, so *I KNOW*. :D

I think socks hop. Haven't you heard of a "sock hop"?!


:rofl: :rofl:

a lot of people in paris can speak english. :mellow: but i confirm we all know better than to wear socks with sandals. i don't know where that "Made in China" tag came from, it's not fooling anybody.

yes i do, which reminds me, where is slite ???? he hasn't been around for ages. i hope he's alright.

I kidnapped him so you can't be rescued. Soon I will be King!

:Bwahahahahahahaha:

:stunned: worried now.

:stunned: worried now.

You could always have a kingdom in exile with Red....( and we could see how good BadGoodDeb is at assasination...)

You could always have a kingdom in exile with Red....
i'll keep that in mind. ;)

(and we could see how good BadGoodDeb is at assasination...)
i'm not that kind of queen. :rolleyes: (haven't we established that yet ??)

Oh, darn. :scuffsfeet: I was hoping for another job, your majesty! I enjoyed that last romp quite a bit!

Oh, darn. :scuffsfeet: I was hoping for another job, your majesty! I enjoyed that last romp quite a bit!

In that case, I have a job for you.

King Yakko and Queen Dot of Anvilania want to have their brother King Wacko assassinated again. (It's his birthday.)

...

i'm not that kind of queen. :rolleyes: (haven't we established that yet ??)


~ahem~ Officially not that kind of queen. Shhh.

Sandals and Socks? These socks are in Paris, not Germany!


In Germany, we know: There´s nothing more sexy than a man wearing socks and sandals :D We even have "socks-and-sandals" fashion shows!!!

In Germany, we know: There´s nothing more sexy than a man wearing socks and sandals :D We even have "socks-and-sandals" fashion shows!!!

In Australia, we have regions where socks and sandals are popular too. We call those regions "retirement villages".

Cheers,
Marc

In Australia, we have regions where socks and sandals are popular too. We call those regions "retirement villages".

Cheers,
Marc

OucH ....

In Germany, we know: There´s nothing more sexy than a man wearing socks and sandals :D We even have "socks-and-sandals" fashion shows!!!

:rofl: you germans, you're not afraid of anything, are you ???

:rofl: you germans, you're not afraid of anything, are you ???

Texas/Austrailia sun??? (The German tourists I see in Texas always look like a parboiled lobster...)

Texas/Austrailia sun??? (The German tourists I see in Texas always look like a parboiled lobster...)
well, i think the germans aren't the only ones afraid of that (i am too).

In Germany, we know: There´s nothing more sexy than a man wearing socks and sandals :D We even have "socks-and-sandals" fashion shows!!!

That may explain why the fashion is relatively prevalent here at Fermilab. We have a lot of Europeans here, and I assumed they all did the socks-with-sandles thing. Maybe it's just the German ones!

In Germany, we know: There´s nothing more sexy than a man wearing socks and sandals :D We even have "socks-and-sandals" fashion shows!!!

Wow, that poor model desperately needs a haircut, a tailor, a nutritionist, and possibly a blood transfusion. Plus he's wearing socks and sandals.

I have seen academics wearing socks and sandals. But they were Earth Sciences lecturers. And geologists are not known for haute couture.

I have seen academics wearing socks and sandals. But they were Earth Sciences lecturers. And geologists are not known for haute couture.

not like your good self - of course .... :thumbsup:

Paaaaah!!!! - Dont you people know that Germany is the number one fashion country? ;) Especially the Southern part of the country (where I live). We have the clothes France´s top designers, Australian pensioners, Texan sun worshipers and British earth scientists dream of (see pictures below). ;)

We are living proof of good taste, because we invented the brezel, we have wheat beer for breakfast and we take sauerkraut baths every day. At night, we are yodelling at the moon, and when we like a person we call her / him names.

I bet you all want to to acquire the German citizenship now ;) (and please note all the ;)s in the text ;) !!!)

...
(and please note all the ;)s in the text ;) !!!)

Oh, right...I just assumed that was a nervous tic, and politely ignored it. I'm more of a nudge-nudger than a wink-winker myself. ;)

Cheers,
Marc

We are living proof of good taste, because we invented the brezel, we have wheat beer for breakfast and we take sauerkraut baths every day. At night, we are yodelling at the moon, and when we like a person we call her / him names.
oh, yep, i've been to germany several times to visit my german friends, and i can attest, everything she said is true. also, every german person dresses just like in those photos, every day. really. oh, except usually they are wearing socks and sandals, instead of shoes.


no, really.



;)

That may explain why the fashion is relatively prevalent here at Fermilab. We have a lot of Europeans here, and I assumed they all did the socks-with-sandles thing. Maybe it's just the German ones!
Well, not only the German ones.
There is also, I'm a bit ashamed to say, the former French president (Chirac) who did.
But then again he is also know for walking around naked during his holidays close to a paparazzi camera, so he's not really considered as a trend-setter in the fashion crowd.

Texas/Austrailia sun??? (The German tourists I see in Texas always look like a parboiled lobster...)

But Texans do not seem to stand the sun. I took a walk this summer in Austin from the hotell to a shopping mall and the only other people I met out walking were some other Swedes. So Texans seems to be a bit afraid of the sun and spend all the time in air conditioned cars...

But Texans do not seem to stand the sun. I took a walk this summer in Austin from the hotell to a shopping mall and the only other people I met out walking were some other Swedes. So Texans seems to be a bit afraid of the sun and spend all the time in air conditioned cars...


Does that imply you are not a Texan yourself ?

Negotiations were closing on an agreement.

"Okay, so, I can play the music I want seventyfive percent of the time..."

"With exceptions.."

"With the exception of no ska, no yodeling, no Slim Whitman especially, no World Music unless it involves South African Male choirs, and no fourteenth century chants."

"And..."

"And no asking the M.A.R.V.I.N. what he wants to listen to."

"I heard that," came a flatly depressed voice from the depths of the Goose.

"That about does it. Now cut me down from here, I'm getting a migraine."

"You're the boss!"

At that moment, the line holding Harv upside down parted and he fell to the spongy ground below.

Vivaldi looked up at the frayed end of wool dangling high in the air. "I think that counts, don't you?"

no SKA ???? i think you're being a little unreasonable on that one, pshrynkie-poo.

Hey, as long as I still get to listen to The Hurdy Gurdy Whirler Girls, I guess I can't complain.

Is that anything like "Roller Derby Queen" by Jim Croce?

I want to listen to the 12" harcdore-techno, emo, acid-jazz, punk, bluegrass remix of Convoy on constant repeat.

Cheers,
Marc (...goes to iTunes store for a look-see...)

Vera stepped off the plane in Mexico City. She doggedly ignored the corridor of vendors wanting to sell her everything from cheap silver to their sister to her gold watch and moved to customs.

"Hola, senorita! Welcome to Mexico! Business or pleasure?"

"Pleasure," she replied. Well, it wasn't an actual lie. She would derive great pleasure from knocking over the spy network she had come to suspect Hilda Miyatake of running. It was obvious that she was here as a result of the Naval Operations going on in the Sea of Cortez.

Getting her passport stamped, she gathered her bags and went to find a taxi. After fending off the attentions of three men who wanted to get her a cab, a free drink, and all for just "an hour of your time," she finally stood at the curb, hailing a cab. A beat up car, no more or less beat up than the other cabs prowling the airport crossed three lines of traffic and edged out two others as she raised her hand. Survival of the fittest, she thought, as she threw her bag into the trunk.

"Hola, senorita! Where to?"

"Take me to Rick's Cafe Americain, Mexico City, please."

"Certainly, senorita!"

The cab lurched out into traffic and quickly sped up to seventy miles an hour. It caromed off the side of a bus filled to overflowing with chickens and raced down a dusty street, scattering children, chickens and irate business men in its wake. Vera concentrated on the back of the driver's head, trying to not look out at the scenery flashing by.

Eventually, the traffic cleared a bit and she felt safe in looking out.

"Hey! This isn't the way to downtown!" she cried.

"Sorry senorita!" the cabbie replied and gunned the engine.

oh noes !!!! vera in danger !!! what does the nefarious "cab-driver" have in store ??? who will thwart his evil plans ???? how will she escape from this hurtling Taxi of Death ????

(i bet the shadow knows...)

oh noes !!!! vera in danger !!! what does the nefarious "cab-driver" have in store ??? who will thwart his evil plans ???? how will she escape from this hurtling Taxi of Death ????

(i bet the shadow knows...)
I am not putting a super hero in this one.


Grumble grumble. Bad enough I gotta figure out how to get the squid in this time....

I am not putting a super hero in this one.


Grumble grumble. Bad enough I gotta figure out how to get the squid in this time....

no no, i was just idly surmising. nothing to do with the plot, or anything. really.

(yeah ? the squid makes an appearance ? more like cameo, or more like leading role ?)

squid ?

this story is tailor-made for a sucker or two ....

Hope Vera's cab ride turns out better than the opening scene in this book: The Bone Collector (A Lincoln Rhyme Novel) by Jeffery Deaver. But it's not sounding good for poor Vera.....

she's never been the same since she sang over The White Cliffs of Dover....

Heels clicking sharply as he walked down the corridor, the young man quickly went throught the doorway, interrupting the meeting as it was going on.

"Was ist los? I demanded to be left in privacy!" Hilda's voice could have cut through the hull of a battleship.

"Sorry Senora Frau. But I am sure you would want to have this. She has arrived and has been picked up by a cabbie."

"Gotte in himmel! Didn't I leave instructions for us to gather her in?"

The clerk turned pale. ""Yes, senora. But the cabbie was... determined. We are not sure where she has been taken. We have a man on it."

"Who?"

The clerk pushed a folder across the table. Hilda opened it and looked at it. The other occupant of the room looked down and said, "Eeeewwww! What kind of a face is that?"

The clerk responded, "His code name is Slite. He's an operative based in Sweden."

"So what's he doing here in Mexico?" asked Hilda.

"He's on holiday, apparently."

The clerk responded, "His code name is Slite. He's an operative based in Sweden."

"So what's he doing here in Mexico?" asked Hilda.

"He's on holiday, apparently."

That would certainly explain why he's left Zelda unrescued in a strange forest. And I'm beginning to wonder whose side Slite is actually on...

The clerk responded, "His code name is Slite. He's an operative based in Sweden."

"So what's he doing here in Mexico?" asked Hilda.

"He's on holiday, apparently."

so THAT's where he's been !!!!

...and he's working with hilda ??? hm. that's an unexpected twist !!!

(you're right patricia, i'm starting to feel worried !)

Harv sat in the train car and stared out the window. Since regular stops had been added to Adrian's Landing, it was much simpler to get into Panama City. He enjoyed that. What he did not enjoy was the grousing and grumbling coming from the vicinity of his feet.

"Why do I gotta always sit on the floor? This is speciesist, I tell you!"

"It's not my idea, Vivaldi. The Rail Company made the rules."

He pointed at a sign at the far end of the car that read:

All animals (Including dogs, cats, ducks, llamas, pandas (even the type with the funny hardware growing out of their ears), frogs, rats, strange South American rodents, xeno-biological mistakes from Australia, and especially squirrels) will be seated on the floor. And those damned Shiba Inu puppies will be in a crate in the baggage car until they are house trained!

Below it, someone had pancilled in: Of course, this does not, in any way apply to imaginary, invisible, violence prone gibbons, and we would like to politely ask Mr Adrian to refrain from flicking peanut shells at the conductors. Our health insurance premiums are sky-rocketing.

"Well, it doesn't say talking dogs."

"I think that the conductor made his position fairly clear the last time you tried that argument," said Harv.

"He could have at least let the train stop before he threw me off."

"I thought he was doing well to wait for it to slow down for the curve. Besides, what you said about his mother was not only wrong, but improbable."

"Lousy service, any way. They don't even have a radio."

"Look, I agreed to your proposal! Let's just let it go..."

"I just think I should have gotten a bonus time for doing it without actually touching the line."

"Well, I think you should have got nothing and like it for not doing anything at all, but I'm just happy to have ska banned for eternity."

Across the aisle from Harv, two socks sat in their seats and looked smug.

i just can't get enough of this lively banter between harv and vr. try to keep him from getting thrown out of the train this time.

And here I started reading, expecting that the floor-level conversation was coming from the socks!!

Harv stepped off the train in Panama City, Vivaldi grumbling behind him. THe socks jumped off and took off into the city to do whatver it was they did on Saturday nights. He turned toward the downtown, Rick's Cafe Americain, Panama City his destination.

"When the revolution comes, that Rail Company is going to find itself on permanent Walkies!"

"What?"

"Nothing! Nothing! It's a pleasant evening for walking, wouldn't you say? Taking a nice revolution around the city, and so on?"

"You know, I sometimes wonder..."

Harv's thoughts were interrupted mid ponder by the clipped British accent of Lieutentant Colonel Biggles. "Wallbanger, old chap! Good to see you! I was just heading down to Rick's and hoped I might see you there!"

"Oh, dear god!" muttered Vivaldi, "Here it comes..."

"Oo's a goo boy, den, Vivvie? Oo's a goo boy?"

"I guess that would be me. Could we get on with this? I could really use a beer right now."

"You know, Wallbanger, that is one intelligent dog you have there. Why it's almost like he can talk."

"Yeah, and it's almost like you can hear. Amazingly life-like for a petrified head, I must say."

"Shh!" said Harv. "Why was it you were looking for me, Colonel? Got something you need smuggled into Columbia? Or out?"

"Yes, ee's a goo boy, den! No, old chap, I've no need of your particular 'talents' in avoiding official notice this week. Let's walk. We can talk when we get to Rick's.

"Let's go, Vivvie! Let's go! Walkies!"

"Just for that, you're getting the first round!"

At least the Walkies aren't gosh-awful cold, in Panama City. Maybe me & mine will come join you on that walk. It's sposed to get even More Cold here real soon, this week.

Vivvie :snicker:

"Yeah, and it's almost like you can hear. Amazingly life-like for a petrified head, I must say."

:snicker:

The taxi driver downshifted and floored it, swinging around the corner into the barrios. He weaved in and out of the foot traffic like a snake on metamucil. Sliding to a halt in front of a decrepit little cantina, he jumped out and ran inside.

"It's me, Juan!" he cried out.

"Juan who?" came the reply.

"How should I know your name? We were just introduced."

"Enter." As the cabbie walked by the bartender, he saw him put a sawed off shotgun away under the cash register. He went through the curtained doorway and into a darkened room. A shape lurked in the corner that he could not make out.

"Well?"

"Senor! The American has been secured."

"Was there any problem?"

"No. She was somewhat reluctant to cooperate, but we were able to be quite persuasive. She calmed down quickly when we introduced her to our little friend."

"Excellent! Have the barman pay you for your expenses on the way out."

The cabbie hastily exited the room. He had heard rumors about what happened to people who lingered there.

a mysterious shape in the corner !! i won't even dare speculate as to what that could be...

.... and which little friend was she introduced too??? The tension mounts. :popcorn:

.... and which little friend was she introduced too??? The tension mounts. :popcorn:


as tight as an unwound pocket watch .... or ...

as the foot exclaimed to the suspender ....

They walked into Rick's Cafe Americain, side by side. Rick, standing by the piano player, gave them the usual greeting, "I don't want trouble makers in my bar! You two get out! Hello, Colonel! Your usual table?"

"He always makes me feel so welcome," came the voice from near the floor. Vivaldi walked past the piano, hiked his leg briefly, and then settled down in his doggie bed at the back. He ordered a plate of bacon and a beer, putting it on Adrian's tab.

Harv and Biggles went to a small table in the back of the room. Ordering drinks and trying to get a tab started, then refused, they sat in an awkward silence.

"So, Lt Colonel, what was it you wanted to speak with me about?" HArv finally broke the silence.

"Erm... Well, the thing is... You see... It's a matter of some delicacy."

"Shouldn't you be seeing Dr Montsnmags about that? I hear that he has some... unique approaches to that sort of thing. For an extra ten bucks or so, he won't even tell your wife."

"Not that sort of delicacy!" Biggles looked, if possible, more embarrassed. "No, it's about Vera. Again."

Harv sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "What sort of problems has she fallen into, this time?"

"I'm not sure. You see, it has to do with her job..."

"You mean as a spy?"

"SHHH!" Several people seated around them turned to look at Biggles as he nearly fell off his chair. "Good, Lord, man! Have you not any ability to be subtle?"

"Pretty much no, actually. What's going on?"

"Well, I'm not supposed to be telling you this and her office claims that they have everything in hand. But without her there to ride herd on them, I can't really trust that they will not make a foul hash of the whole thing.

"You see, she's disappeared. Again. Erm."

"Any clues as to where, this time?"

"Well, there's the mercy, at least. We know exactly where she was headed. Mexico city."

A fight broke out in the back of the room where two sailors discovered that they had been insulting each other for the last five minutes. As the MPs would later find out, neither had actually said anything. Only Harv noticed the small grey dog jumping up to their table and drinking their beers in the confusion.

"Mexico City? Why on earth would she be going there other than to buy Talavera pottery?"

"It's that Miyatake woman."

A cold dread settled on Harv's heart.

Dum, da dum dum.....

Hope Vera brings home some nice pottery too. It's always useful to have something you can smash when you are mad. [rem to self: try that sometime]

A fight broke out in the back of the room where two sailors discovered that they had been insulting each other for the last five minutes. As the MPs would later find out, neither had actually said anything. Only Harv noticed the small grey dog jumping up to their table and drinking their beers in the confusion.
trust vr never to lose sight of the goal... :rolleyes:

it sounds like harv is going to need the help of hugo and lefty to rescue vera again. where did they disappear to, by the way ?

As as aside, Vera also needs rescuing in my latest book upload: The Mysterious Three by William Le Queux.

She goes missing. Can her beloved Dick find her?
“But where was Vera? Ah! I felt beside myself in anxiety—a breathless, burning longing, to know how fared the one woman in all the world who held me in her hands for life, or for death.
She loved me, truly and well—of that I was convinced. And yet she existed in that mysterious hateful bondage—a bondage which, alas! she dared not attempt to break.
What could be the truth? Why were her lips closed?—Aye, why indeed? I dreaded to think.”

As as aside, Vera also needs rescuing in my latest book upload: The Mysterious Three by William Le Queux.

She goes missing. Can her beloved Dick find her?
“But where was Vera? Ah! I felt beside myself in anxiety—a breathless, burning longing, to know how fared the one woman in all the world who held me in her hands for life, or for death.
She loved me, truly and well—of that I was convinced. And yet she existed in that mysterious hateful bondage—a bondage which, alas! she dared not attempt to break.
What could be the truth? Why were her lips closed?—Aye, why indeed? I dreaded to think.”

that woman just can't stay out of trouble, apparently.

/me goes to download The Mysterious Three.

OK, I'm caught up now. Proceed.

Wow, Dixie -- you must be having a sunny happy day today! That avatar practically radiates happiness and love out at us! Very pretty. :)

A Faceless Bureaucrat walked down the hallway of the Canal Zone offices of the OIS, her heels clicking sharply. In her hand, she carried a sheet of yellow paper. She entered a small room at the end of the corridor, where Yet Another Faceless Bureaucrat sat behind the desk.

Looking up, he said, "Yes? I can't remeber your name, but you look familiar."

"That's because we all wear the same non-uniform uniforms. I just got this from Western Union."

"The small college in Northwest Iowa?"

"No, the telegraph office. It's from Mexico City."

"Am I supposed to know anything about that?"

"We have Naval Operations going on in the Sea of Cortez and our Station Chief went there last week."

"Talavera pottery?"

"Among other things. Look at this." She dropped the telegram on the desk.

Yet Another Faceless Bureaucrat looked at it with growing agitation. "I can't read this! It doesn't make any sense!"

Faceless Bureacrat reached over and turned the telegram right side up.

"Oh! That's better! OH MY GOD!"

"Exactly. We need to do something."

"We need to get this to the Station Chief. Right away!"

Faceless Bureaucrat looked up at the ceiling for the length of time it takes to count to ten there or four times. "Considering that it has to do with the place that our Section Chief is at the moment and also to do with why she may have not reported in for three days, don't you suppose that waiting for her to get back might not be a bit of a problem?"

Yet Another Faceless Bureaucrat sat, looking stumped for a good long time. "You... suppose... we should do something about it ourselves?" he finally asked, panic creeping into the edges of his voice.

"What an excellent idea!" said Faceless Bureaucrat. "No wonder they made you Paperclip Inventory Subsection Head!"

"But what? Do we have anyone on the ground who can deal with this?"

"As a mater of fact, we do. He's generally a European Asset, but he happens to be on holiday in Mexico city, right now." She opened up a file and handed it to Yet Another Faceless Bureaucrat.

"Eeeeewwwww! What kind of face is that?"

"He's Swedish. I sent an encrypted message to him to get on the case..."

These Faceless Bureaucrats remind me slightly of Pratchett's "Auditors...."

Hopefully the "little friend" is not the squid. I really don't need another of those off-hours collect calls.

But hey --- The Squid is a big star now!! Of *course* he's probably in this tale too. Or she, as the case may be. Do we know?

now wait a second here !!! just which side is this swedish operative playing for ???

now wait a second here !!! just which side is this swedish operative playing for ???

He's playing on drums in an ABBA cover band.

"Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted too..."

He's playing on drums in an ABBA cover band.

"Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted too..."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! slite, say it isn't so !!!! i feel so betrayed.

The French still resent Waterloo, then?

The French still resent Waterloo, then?

I think that's a bit silly of them. It's not as if La vie à vignt-cinq ans by Dani was ever going to beat ABBA, even if they did enter the competition. 1974 was always going to be Sweden's year.

Cheers,
Marc

Somehow reading Marc's posts always brings back surreal memories... in this case, riding in a taxi in China and hearing Dancing Queen on the radio. :dizzy2:

The French still resent Waterloo, then?

i personally resent their entire repertoire.

i personally resent their entire repertoire.

But how could you, my Queen? I know that you can dance. I know that you can jive, having the time of your life. I've seen that girl. I've watched that scene. I'm digging the dancing Queen.

Cheers,
Marc (On Saturday night and the lights are low...)

But how could you, my Queen? I know that you can dance. I know that you can jive, having the time of your life. I've seen that girl. I've watched that scene. I'm digging the dancing Queen.

Cheers,
Marc (On Saturday night and the lights are low...)

arg ! stop it !!

arg ! stop it !!
No, please continue, this is the only show playing at this hour. :popcorn:

arg ! stop it !!

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I agree...I don't want to talk, about the things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done too. Nothing more to say; no more ace to play...

Cheers,
Marc (the loser standing small)

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I agree...I don't want to talk, about the things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done too. Nothing more to say; no more ace to play...

Cheers,
Marc (the loser standing small)
luckily for you (and, more importantly, for me) i've managed to avoid the intrusion of ABBA into my personal reality to the point that i can't actually be certain that you're again quoting / paraphrasing one of the abominations they pass off as music. so although my powers of logical deduction are itching mightily, i'm going to pretend i've noticed nothing amiss. nothing ! nothing, i tell you !!

.... i can't actually be certain...

...and that's all I ask for: uncertainty. Go on. Look it up. Take-a-chance-Take-a-chance-Take-a-ch-ch-chance-chance...

Anyway, I think I'm off to bed. All this lyricism has got me frisky, and now that it's after midnight I want someone to Gimme Gimme Gimme...

Cheers,
Marc (Honey, honey - let me feel it, aha, honey honey...)

...and that's all I ask for: uncertainty. Go on. Look it up. Take-a-chance-Take-a-chance-Take-a-ch-ch-chance-chance...

Anyway, I think I'm off to bed. All this lyricism has got me frisky, and now that it's after midnight I want someone to Gimme Gimme Gimme...

Cheers,
Marc (Honey, honey - let me feel it, aha, honey honey...)
not now, i have a headache. :D

I can't escape from Abba! I had Abba-robots in my dreams last night (I was going to type Abba-bots, but I figured some-one would find a a way to pervert that ;) ). They were all boxy and basically looked like someone had stuck arms, legs, heads and wigs onto juke boxes...

The Adventures of Harv and Vera in Panama has now been commemorated in a serious of shameless merchandise. Click the linky below. ;)

I've got my thong (okay, shirt) on order. Love it. Great job, Neko. Oh, and Zelda, too. Uh, yeah, and pshwynk. Yes, shameless merchandise!

I'll be putting in an order next weekend, after I get paid :)

I've got my thong (okay, shirt) on order. Love it. Great job, Neko. Oh, and Zelda, too. Uh, yeah, and pshwynk. Yes, shameless merchandise!

what a plug....

The Adventures of Harv and Vera in Panama has now been commemorated in a serious of shameless merchandise. Click the linky below. ;)
Joy!! Soon as I can find my wallet, I'm ordering!

Joy!! Soon as I can find my wallet, I'm ordering!


You have a wallet?

You have a wallet?
Well, it was with my pants the last time I saw it, so maybe not.

Well, it was with my pants the last time I saw it, so maybe not.


thinks, pants (last time they were seen.....)

erm .... :closeseyes:

i'm waiting to get paid too, that check better come soon !!! (of course, that gives me time to try and narrow down the list of what i want to buy...)

While I have your attention, should I still work on the "pshrynk and Patricia in '08" items? I'll have time today.

While I have your attention, should I still work on the "pshrynk and Patricia in '08" items? I'll have time today.
That would be cool. Not sure how many shirts other than "two" you'd sell, but hey...

i would love to see those, although i should probably add that i won't be able to buy anything right away...

Okeydokey, we'll see what comes up after lunch. :)

yay !!

How's this?

I approve this message. :D

In Mexico City, a furtive figure ran through the rain and jumped into a taxi.

"Off duty!" the cabbie said.

Oh, senor, I don't think so." The sound of a pistol being cocked punctuated the night.

"You got it, boss! Where to?"

"Wherever it is that you need to take me."

"Que?"

"Let us not play games. I wish to see the Taxi Boss and you are going to take me. If he tries to blame you for that, you can always say that I held a gun to your head. Which I am doing."

"I could get shot for doing that!"

"And you will get shot for not doing it. Your choice, really."

The car started and sped off into the night.

By the side of the road, two small, brown dogs sat and watched the car drive off.

"So, George, you gonna chase after it?"

"Naw. I caught one once and I didn't know what to do with it."

""I've never really seen the point, either. You suppose we should report in?"

"Yeah. That particular group horning in on the Taxi Drivers is something that The Friend needs to take notice of..."

the plot thickens !!!

He was bored. Nothing was happening. He felt there should be something, but there was not. He looked to his schedule. Yesterday there was something coming up that would be interesting, but that was in the future. Instead, he picked up his glass and toasted his companion. Who had just lost his last sou in a poker game.

The squid looked as if he were grumbling and saying, "I'm pretty certain that that last hand was rigged, especially since there were five aces in your hand, but I'm not going to risk that. Maybe, in fact, there is a new suit called 'pistols' but never mind. Why yes, I would like another Zany Carter as long as you are buying...*"

that poor squid, i feel so sorry for it during these card games. :p

there is always something with a twist in it ....

Harv flipped a few random switches as the engines warmed up.

"Let's do the check list, Viv."

"Okay. The standard, 'We actually give a crap about this' checklist, or the 'We're just flying down to the beach for an afternoon of frolicking, so screw this' checklist?"

Harv looked up contemplatively. "Well, we're flying to Mexico city from Panama city to rescue Vera from whatever it is that she's gotten herself into this time and we have an actual paying passenger, so I guess it should be the first." He muttered, "Much as I know I'm going to regret it..."

"I heard that!"

"Starboard Engine fuel pressure?"

"Check!"

"Port Engine fuel pressure?"

"Check!"

"Starboard oil pressure?"

"Check!"

"Port oil pressure?"

"Check!"

"Landing gear?"

"Still welded to the bottom of the plane!"

"Just say check!"

"Check!"

"You gave in rather quickly," said Harv, feeling suspicion.

"Hey, I'm just the co-pilot! Subservient in every way. That, plus I'm a dog, so I know that I'm beta in this pack..."

"Right. Running lights?"

"Check!"

"If I ask you about the radio, am I going to regret it?"

"I think we already established who is the alpha male here."

"That's not an answer."

"Check!"

Harv sighed. "Radio?"

"Ooh! You're going to like this!" Vivaldi reached out and flipped a switch. A wall of chromosome damage level noise issued from the speakers. HArv's ears started bleeding and his tympanic membranes tried to crawl out through his nose.

"SHUT THAT OFF!" he shouted.

Thundering silence blessed the cockpit.

"What the Hell? I thought I said NO SKA!"

"No need to shout. That wasn't ska."

"I have to shout, I've been deafened. What was it then?"

"It's a new fusion. Hip hop and ska: Hip ska-p. Not ska at all..."

"I don't see how that's any worse than Death Baroque, but no one ever asks me my opinion," said the M.A.R.V.I.N.

ska-p :

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m4jSqnmaCvU&hl=fr&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/m4jSqnmaCvU&hl=fr&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

:D

Death Baroque? Would the M.A.R.V.I.N. really complain about that?

and how could *anybody* complain about ska-p ? this must be a fantasy story or something, it's totally unrealistic. ;)

Tim and I set a new land speed record hitting the "stop" button on that clip. You kids cut out that racket!

(Don't tell Harv, but I had my earplugs in. Fortunately, I can read lips. Ssshhh!)

I always browse MR with the sound off.

Ok, I nearly always have the sound off on my computer anyway... :rolleyes:

I always browse MR with the sound off.

Ok, I nearly always have the sound off on my computer anyway... :rolleyes:

very sensible ...

The Goose taxied out into Lake Gatun. Soon, the roar of engines on take-off filled the air and she was airborne. Under the flight path, two socks sat on chaise longues, basking in the tropical sun. One was leafing through a knitting magazine. The other was woriedly paging through a stapled document.

"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"I think we were supposed to be on that plane."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I've been leafing through the script -- to see if that set of suspenders got the part I recommended for her -- and right here in twelve pages, it says, 'Cut to interior of Goose. Harv looks down at the flaps lever, startled. HARV> Where the Hell did those socks come from? The socks wave back silently and shuffle off to the rear, where Biggles soon starts screaming.'"

"Let me see that!" Hugo grabbed the script, looking at the opened page.

"Oh, snap! First this author gets high on hallucinogens, and now he's hung over!"

"Well, Hugo, he may be hung under. I mean, Adrian was visiting his cubicle last night."

"Now what do we do?"

The small blue frog, who had been following them around for the past week, pulled out his cell and started dialing.

In Mexico City, two small brown dogs wandered aimlessly through the streets. Every now and then, they would sniff vigorously at a pile of dirt or a fencepost.

"Hey, George! I hear that there is something really big happening at the Taxi Stand! Want to go and watch?"

"Naw, Bob. We have to patrol this sector. The Friend would have our hides if we went off and had fun, instead."

"I wonder what happened to that guy who hijacked the taxi last night."

George stopped and seriously investigated a light post. nodding his approval, he deposited his reply to the witty commentary posted there. "That pshrynk and his stories! Hah! Who would ever believe that an African American would be elected President!

"I heard that he was taken to see Main Guy. The Friend was there, too, but he hid in the shadows."

"Really, George? I wish I could be there some time, just to see what goes on!"

"What are you? A cat? What's with the curiosity? We're chihuahuas! We prance around, looking cute and adorable, dance in stupid little skirts in the square, and get totally viscious when the time comes! Enough with these questions!"

Just up the street, in the shadows of a tumble down buidling, a lurking form grunted aprreciatively and backed out through the door.

"Well, Hugo, he may be hung under. I mean, Adrian was visiting his cubicle last night."


:rofl:

a small blue frog ! what could he be up to ?? will hugo and lefty manage to get on that plane after all ? (probably, but only with the help of some sort of pan-dimensional creature...) who are Main Guy and The Friend ?? and is that "r" superfluous ? will the author recover his wits, or has he had one too many Zany Carter Deluxes / absinthes ? tune in next time for the stunning answers to these questions ! (or possibly just more tension-building cliff-hangers, depending.) same bat-time, same bat-channel !!

hang on, author? authors!

The taxi pulled up in front of the non-descript cantina. The rear seat occupant stepped out and walked in. He walked up to the bar as if he owned the place.

""What do you want, gringo?" asked the bartender.

"I have an appointment with your boss," came the answer.

"I don't see any appointments on the calendar."

The man in the riding cape turned to look at the calendar on the wall. Whipping his hand into his pocket quick as a snake, he pulled his revolver, cocked, and shot a hole in the dead center of the day's date. Turning like a flash, he struck the bat from the hand of the bartender and said, "I believe there is one, now."

The phone beside the register rang. "Go ahead and pick it up. Slowly."

Eyes crossedat the .38 snub nose that hovered a mere inch from his nose, the bartender picked up the phone, listened, and said, "You're to go right in."

The stranger walked to the back of the cantina and entered the small curtained room. Inside it was dimly lit.

"So, let's start out with introductions. Or rather, introduction. Who the hell are you?" came the voice from the shadows.

that's how i like to make my appointments too.

it sounds like we may soon find out a bit more about these mysterious new characters ! i can't wait...

that's how i like to make my appointments too.

it sounds like we may soon find out a bit more about these mysterious new characters ! i can't wait...

Since Psockpuppet is co-authoring this thing, I don't think we will be finding out more about the new characters anytime soon. Make that "finding out the truth..." That walking eclair of a rat does not specialize in clarity. It specializes in kidnapping and confusion.

The stranger struck what could only be described as "a pose" and exclaimed, "I, my dear fellows am Hank, Comte de Bois Aussi. Gentleman adventurer, French patriot, and Cultural Attache to the Swahili Nation."

A moment of silence ensued, in which, if the light were better, the figure in the back of the room might have been seen moving its lips. "So, you're a spy for France and the Swahilis?"

"Hey, there's a Depression going on! One does what one must."

"So, what are you doing here, Senor le Compte?"

"I have an urgent message for le Grand Taxi -- the Taxi Boss!"

"You want to give the Taxi Boss a massage?"

"Non! Not a massage! A message! Don't let the ridicuous French accent fool you!"

"Well, go ahead and leave the message and I'll be sure to get it to this Taxi Boss if I ever have the opportunity."

"I happen to know that you are the Taxi Boss, the secret ruler of all Mexico. And I shall prove it!" Bois Aussi said a name.

A low growling came from near the floor. "That is not a name that is said anywhere in public by men who wish to live, senor!"

"Nonetheless, I have said it. It proves that I know whereof I speak!"

"Very well, you have shown that you know who I am. What is this urgent message?"

"Mexico is about to be embroiled in a fight with les Etats Unis, the US! There will be an incident in the Sea of Cortez, which will destroy the United States Pacific Fleet and Mexico shall be blamed."

"And... who exactly is going to do this?"

"Nazi Germany! With the US embroiled in a war with its southern neighbor, they will have a free hand to do as they wish in Africa. Including some very important mineral rights in the middle of Swahili Territory."

The Taxi Boss turned to the smaller figure near the floor. "We need to get this message to The Factor and the American Woman right away!"

will those dastardly villains stop at nothing ? my god ! the tension is almost unbearable !

The man in the riding cape turned to look at the calendar on the wall. Whipping his hand into his pocket quick as a snake, he pulled his revolver, cocked, and shot a hole in the dead center of the day's date. Turning like a flash, he struck the bat from the hand of the bartender and said, "I believe there is one, now."
Now that's a man of action.

I do hope none of my coworkers are reading this.... :p

Frau Miyatake entered the building. She glared at the doorkeeper, who turned pale and completely forgot to ask for the counter signs.

"We have a problem! Numerous problems!" she exclaimed as she walked into the meeting room.

"Start with the least important. I'm not feeling particularly energetic today," replied the man sitting at the table.

"Harv Wallbanger is flying up from Panama City with Lietentant Colonel Biggles. He should arrive within the day."

"And he is a problem, how?"

Hilda teared up briefly. "He was the one who got my husband recalled in disgrace to Japan. He may look stupid, but he has skills that we are not yet aware of."

"And this Biggles?"

"A mindless drone from the US Army in the Canal Zone. Stealing peoples' lunches is his most clever action."

"Is this Wallbanger of any use to us alive?"

"He is connected to the American Woman. They have -- an understanding."

"Have him brought in. Biggles, too, if he doesn't put up a fight."

"I want his dog, too. My children seem to like him."

"Whatever. Anything else?"

"The Taxi Boss seems to have heard about the plot for the Pacific Fleet. He was visited by an agent of either the French or the Watusi Nation. We are not sure."

"France or Watusi Nation?"

"Apparently there is a Depression going on and he free-lances."

The man at the table sighed. He was tired. He had risen through the ranks of the German Foreign Service by the expediency of assasination, trickery, and the occasional sharply worded memo and just wanted to retire some place warm and most importantly, free of Nazis. If he could manage to pull off the destruction of the US Pacific Fleet and get Mexico blamed for it, the name of Heinz von Schlepwig would surely go down in the whispered annals of spying as the master of all subterfuge.

"Have them all killed. Report back with your success."

Outside the window, where there was posted a cute little story about a private eye looking for golden fecal matter, two small, brown dogs listened intently.

the whispered annals of spying
...they have to whisper them. it's in the "How To Be A Master of Subterfuge in Ten Easy Lessons" mail-order handbook.

...the whispered annals of spying
...

In the whispered annals of spying, the code phrase is "pull my finger".

Cheers,
Marc

But the question is -- is Heinz von Schlepwig *his* name, or somebody else's??

:hmmm:

But the question is -- is Heinz von Schlepwig *his* name, or somebody else's??

You mean... the chap calling himself Heinz Von Schlepwig might have stolen some-one else's (the real Herr von Shchlepwig's, even) name and be using it illegitatmely? :eek:

The fiend!

The unmitigated swine....

The plane came in low over the mountains surrounding Mexico City. in the cockpit, the pilot and co-pilot were having an argument that had been going on since Managua.

"Look... You can't just say that because they are out to destroy our way of life and want to see us all dead that they are enemies!"

"Not the way I see it. A formal declaration of war is sooo last century! What about the damage to the infrastructure? Have you ever seen the costs that are involved?"

"But what I'm saying is this: An entire grouping cannot be painted black by the actions of a few radicals within the group. We don't have any reason to believe that the elimination of the entire population would be of any benefit!"

"And all I'm saying is that we give a go and see what happens. If there is some sort of Karmic Debt that comes as a result, then we gladly pay it in order to be rid of their menace."

"You can pay it. I'm not interested. Besides, some of them are actually pretty cute."

"Typical human! You think with an anthropomorphised filter in front of you all the time! You wouldn't know an actual threat to the lightness of being of the worldif it bit you on the knackers. And in this case, it may just happen!"

"'Anthropomorphised?' As in talking dog?"

"Damned squirrels!" muttered Vivaldi. "We have clearance from the tower for landing. Try to remember that this is a dry landing this time?"

"Heading zero eight. Ready for approach."

The Grumman Goose taxied to a stop at the commercial terminal and swung around to it's tether points. Harv looked down and had a vaguely disorienting moment.

"That's funny," he said.

"What?"

"I just looked down and had the feeling that I should have seen something that wasn't there."

"Come to think of it, I have this feeling that I should be running through the cargo bay, yapping madly. Funny old world."

"I wonder if this is something important?"

"Well, boys! That was a right cheerful flight! Let's get on with our business, then shall we?" came the overly cheerful voice of Lieutenant Colonel Biggles from the cargo bay.

"Must have been nothing," said Harv. They got up and crawled to the back of the plane. They stepped out into the sunlight.

And into the barrels of the guns of the welcoming committee standing there.

"Hola, senors! And Welcome to Mexico City. Please put your hands in the air where we can see them!"

As Vivaldi tucked tail and ran away as fast as four legs could carry him, he was thinking, "If I'd been chasing after something, Harv would have been cahsing after me and we would have both avoided that!"

oh no ! this is all because a couple of socks didn't read the script !! hugo and lefty, i'm very disappointed in you ! i hope you have a plan to fix this !

oh no ! this is all because a couple of socks didn't read the script !! hugo and lefty, i'm very disappointed in you ! i hope you have a plan to fix this !
Actually, psockpuppet was hung under from his "experiment" with the Jack and LSD, trying to re-create absinthe, so it's not entirely their fault. :p

well still, 2 socks or 3, they're so unreliable sometimes !

i'm confident they'll do everything to right the situation though. they may be a bit fluff-headed (what do you expect, they are socks after all) but their hearts are in the right place (metaphorically speaking. socks obviously don't have cardiovascular systems).

The thugs with guns marched Harv and Biggles away. The Goose sat on the tarmac, as if dejected.

"Hello?" came a plaintive voice from inside the cockpit. "Is anyone going to tie the plane down? Or park it properly? Or, failing that, at least turn off the autopilot? Anyone? How typical."

The M.A.R.V.I.N. sat inert, since he had no other real choice. He thought about firing up the engines and flying into the surrounding mountains, but decided he hadn't the energy.


BZZZZZZSST! POUF! Suddenly the smell of ozone and the air, or at least a small part of it was filled with smart wool socks.

One was wearing Harv's sunglasses, which had been left behind. "Hugo?" it said.

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"I think we're too late to hit our marks."

"Probably comes from using the JordanAire contractor, rather than Air Adrian. Didn't have the temporal displacement guarantee."

"Do you think Adrian will be upset that we went with a competitor?"

"Nah. He said that he was too busy rigging some sort of election for Germany, so he referred us to JA."

"So what do we do, now, Hugo?"

""Well, it looks like we missed all the action, here. I guess we go and see what we can dig up in the way of Talavera Pottery. And Mexican hats."

"I like plates. Can we get some postcards, too?"

"Yes. We can get some postcards."


The Goose sat on the tarmac. "I don't suppose you could bother to turn that switch on my panel to 'off,' could you? Hello? How typical."

BZZZZZZSST! POUF! Suddenly the smell of ozone and the air, or at least a small part of it was filled with smart wool socks.
YAY !!!!!

"Do you think Adrian will be upset that we went with a competitor?"

"Nah. He said that he was too busy rigging some sort of election for Germany, so he referred us to JA."
unless there is some kind of dramatic reversal in the last hours, "germany" is going to want her money back. ;)

"I like plates. Can we get some postcards, too?"

"Yes. We can get some postcards."
postcards are essential.

hm. what do you think are the chances they can combine rescue mission and souvenir shopping ? probably pretty good, actually, knowing them.

The Goose sat on the tarmac. "I don't suppose you could bother to turn that switch on my panel to 'off,' could you? Hello? How typical."

:snicker:

A man was walking a dog down the street. He seemed to be talking to himself and amazingly, answering himself quite animatedly.

"The only reason I'm letting you do this, gringo, is that there is a strict leash law in this part of town."

"Right, right..."

"If I wanted to, I could be off this leash in a second. Just to be clear."

"Sure. Where is this place we are going to?"

"Just down this road. The Factor has a residence that he keeps. There. The White building on the right."

Bois Aussi looked down a long row of white buildings on his right. "Okay. Lead on, petit chien."

"If I find out that means anything nasty, you are getting such an ankle worrying..."

They walked up to the house. Bois Aussi knocked. A large man opened the door. "Si?"

"We are here to see The Factor," said Little Friend.

"Pull the other one."

"We have the card of the Taxi Boss," said Bois Aussi before the chihuahua could launch himself. He handed a small cardboard to the door keeper.

"This way."

They followed the man down a long corridor. Bois Aussi looked around and was not particularly surprised to see holes at intervals cut into the walls. Perfect for laying an ambush if needed.

"In here."

They entered the room ahead. The lights were dim. In the back of the room, a large shape seemed to be lounging on the couch.

"So. Who are you and what is that brings you in?"

"This is some French guy who the Taxi Boss is enamored with. Works for France and the Swahili Nation."

"The Swahili Nation?"

"There is a depression going on. I have information that is very important! The Germans are going to try and destroy the US Pacific Fleet while it is on maneuvres in the Sea of Cortez. They then plan to blame Mexico and start a war sot that there will be a distraction to their ambitions elsewhere."

"In France?"

"Non! In Africa. there are mineral deposits that are essential to their plans!"

"Hmm." The shape on the couch turned to the wall behind it and said, "I guess this has something to do with you, then?"

"Damned straight it does!" said Vera as she stepped out from behind a curtain. "Where did this information... come... er... from?"

Bois Aussi looked at the beautiful face of a thousand dreams hovering in front of him. He could hear bluebirds chirping. "What?"

"Erm... Uh, what?"

A voice from near the floor said, "If you two are done with the bucket of water moment, I'd like to get back to my territory."

"OH! I mean.. Oh. Right. Um, where did you get this information?"

"From French Bureau of Intelligence. Might I ask your name, mademoiselle? I do hope that it is mademoiselle, for if your are married, I will have to go straight to my hotel room and kill myself from grief!"

"I'm Vera. Vera Wayne... And you are?"

"Je suis Hank, Comte de Bois Aussi! At your every service and command."

"Right," said the Factor as he jumped down from his couch, "And My name is Slite. Pleased to meet all of you. What do we do with this information?"

Just then, a whirlwind of teeth, paws, tails, and small brown bodies flew into the room, followed close by the large doorkeeper.

"Boss! Boss! Thank God we found you!" Geroge and Bob ran around the room excitedly.

"Now what? Sit! Stay!"

The two chihuahuas came to a halt and the door keeper tripped over them.

"Boss!" said George, "That big German woman is planning to kill the Taxi Boss! We just came from her headquarters!"

Hank is such a smooth talker...

slite on the scene !!! and a price on vera's head !!! where will it all lead ????

Slite looked down on the two messengers of the Chihuahua Cartel. He had to, since, being a Bernese Mountain Dog, there was no way to look up to them. "Are you sure?"

They stared at him, wide eyed, which is pretty much the constant expression of a chihuahua, but in this case, moreso. "Si!" said George, "We were there! The Big German Man told her that the Taxi Boss was to be killed!"

"Did they say who was going to do it?"

"No! But she left right after that. There was something else, too, but I can't remember..."

"That is more than enough for now. Mssr le Comte, Vera, I need someone to go to the Taxi Boss and give warning. Would you two be so kind?"

"Erm... Sure! That would be a great idea!" Vera hadn't felt this way since junior high when BillyWalker had asked her to the Valentine's dance.

"It would be an honor to accompany Mademoiselle. To the Gates of Hell, if necessary!"

"Why would you need to go to a MExican National Park, right now? Little Friend, I will be needing you and your messengers for another task, if you would not mind waiting a bit?"

Hank and Vera left the room, eyes only for each other. "Do you suppose we could get some Talavera Pottery on the way? I could really go for a vase, right now..."

who is that ?

(i'm *not* actually a rabid Buffy fan, you see...)

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m38/drphogg/BuffyvstheCount.jpg

:snicker: That image prompted the Muffin Man to do his Count voice... "MBah hah ha!"

Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's get back to the socks! :D

:snicker: That image prompted the Muffin Man to do his Count voice... "MBah hah ha!"

Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's get back to the socks! :D

I love the Count laugh...

:snicker: That image prompted the Muffin Man to do his Count voice... "MBah hah ha!"

Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's get back to the socks! :D

yes ! moar socks please !

sock it to us - now ....

sighs

3 days and nothing new to report ....

I'm workin' on it, okay?

I'm workin' on it, okay?

but the time schedule !

come on, we've paid the laddy enough for more episodes and well in advance - hurry up before the currency devalues even further .... pfffft ....

Meanwhile on an island in the middle of the Ocean, they finally got the generator working, sufficient to fire up the only reading device available......Connecting through to MR for the latest, they were disappointed .....

Meanwhile on an island in the middle of the Ocean, they finally got the generator working, sufficient to fire up the only reading device available......Connecting through to MR for the latest, they were disappointed .....

...and then the nonreplacable battery in the Kindle 2 died and they were left with only smoke signals from their nonexistant fire to communicate with the rest of the world.

Vivaldi was miserable. He missed Harv terribly. He'd slept in a dumpster, eaten garbage, and drank water from a public toilet. Yet, in spite of all those wonderful things, he had an itch right behind his ears that he couldn't reach and desperately needed a skritch. And while Harv was usually slow on the uptake, even with pointed hints and outright demands, he usually came through with at least a perfunctory skritch.

Right now, he was hot on the scent of what he was assuming was a very willing female dog -- call her a bitch if you must, but Vivaldi was pretty certain she would also turn out to be a great conversationalist. If scent had anything to do with it, at least.

He trotted down the back alleys where he had been hiding for the past twenty four hours, avoiding the stares of human Mexicans as much as possible. He was no stranger to the hostility of humans in these circumstances.

In fact, he'd neglected avoiding notice once way back in his early days and he'd regretted it since then. Of course, how was he to have known that Vera had been on the lookout for a puppy and would find him "adorable, in a horrid little way?" Or that she would have a gambling habit that ended up with him belonging to a bush pilot with a malfunctioning moral compass?

He sniffed at a sign post to check on the latest news. There were a lot of new odors hanging in the forums these days, most of them attracted to the latest chew toy that had recently been released. Vivaldi sniffed disdainfully. It was just a piece of wood! He much preferred his tried and true, genuine, Made in Japan chew toy. He left a scathing comment.

He was aware that there were two small dogs surrepticiously following him in that "we're not really following you" fashion of inept tails everywhere. He sidestepped into an alley off the alley -- this city was made up of alleys as far as he could tell -- and waited.

Two of them. Smaller than him. More teeth, but smaller stopping ratio. It would be an even match in a fair fight. But Vivaldi had learned fighting from Harv, so there would be no contest. He heard them talking as he prepared to jump out at them from cover.

"Let me read what he put down here, Bob!"

"Make it fast! He may have run off, George!"

"We're dogs! We can track him!"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

"Hmmm... Pedro is complaining of having hard pad again. He'll never learn. That new chew toy sure is getting a lot of questions! Personally, I'm not sure what the hoopla is all about. Here it is. What the He...."

Vivaldi jumped out at the two chihuahuas and pinned them under his front paws. "Any last words?" he snarled in his best Cagney impression.

"Oh, my God!" said George, "You're Vivaldi! Author of the Harv and Vera stories! I love your work, dude!"

"Wait. What?" Vivaldi had expected any number of responses other than this one.

"Dude! We read your stories all the time! I especially love that one where Harv got turned into a squid! Where do you come up with these ideas?"

"You'd be amazed what real life can bring..." said Vivaldi distractedly.

...and then the nonreplacable battery in the Kindle 2 died and they were left with only smoke signals from their nonexistant fire to communicate with the rest of the world.

But the rest of the World was too busy watching and waiting for the next installment - and Yehheeeee... it arrived ......

"Oh, my God!" said George, "You're Vivaldi! Author of the Harv and Vera stories! I love your work, dude!"

"Wait. What?" Vivaldi had expected any number of responses other than this one.
VR isn't the only one to be taken by surprise here... I'm assuming Vivaldi is "writing" his version of the Harv and Vera stories in the same way as his recent commentary on the new chew toy?

Well, he's done the photography part, at least. (his avatar)

No, he's not really workin on it. He's testing his new toy (the Jeep). AND not giving us any photos of that!! :(

Well, he's done the photography part, at least. (his avatar)

No, he's not really workin on it. He's testing his new toy (the Jeep). AND not giving us any photos of that!! :(

I think photos of lawyers that you've run over are usually called "incriminating evidence". Hopefully he'll post pics when he's washed the blood off...

I think photos of lawyers that you've run over are usually called "incriminating evidence". Hopefully he'll post pics when he's washed the blood off...

:snicker:

"Oh, my God!" said George, "You're Vivaldi! Author of the Harv and Vera stories! I love your work, dude!"

"Wait. What?" Vivaldi had expected any number of responses other than this one.
it's always so awkward when the guys who are supposed to be following you around turn out to be fans. :rolleyes:

Waaaaaay back in the pre-history of this thread, VR was the first guy to write about H & V, and in the Panama Adventure, he's working on the Great Amercian Novel.


pshrynk (social historian)

Edit - And he's writing it the same as he's checking the e-mail in RSE's book.

Chuck, don't know why, but that's my 505's name on when I connect to sony and that's what I call it when I'm asking someone to bring it to me...

Chuck, don't know why, but that's my 505's name on when I connect to sony and that's what I call it when I'm asking someone to bring it to me...

Gosh - someone interjects into this episode with sanity ....

Back in the Goose, the Squid woke up with a raging hangover. A headache in an animal that is, face it, all head is nothing to sneer at.

He rolled over and took a long drink of water from Harv's thermos. After testing to make sure that it was, in fact, just water, of course. Silently, he swore off ever a) drinking with Adrian, b) playing cards with Adrian, or c) both ever again. He felt lucky to wake up as the same species, let alone in the back of the Goose. Why had he crawled in here again?

Hoisting himself up to the cargo bay door, intent on taking a quick swim in Lake Gatun to replenish his depleted body fluids, he was shocked to discover he was sitting in an airplane in the middle of an airport. Harv never landed at airports if he could avoid it! And this wasn't the Panama City airstrip! Small shots of panic ran up his, well, head.

He schlepped to the cockpit, hoping to be able to endure the M.A.R.V.I.N long enough to get a fix on his whereabouts. Half way there, he tripped over a largish bound sheaf of papers.

HARV AND VERA'S MEXICAN VACATION, it said. He noted that the cover stated that the script belonged to "Lefty." The Squid leafed through it quickly. His eyes grew wide as he reached the second act. Grabbing the flare gun from the emergency kit, he jumped out of the Goose and set out across the tarmac.

"I don't suppose you could bother to just flick that switch before you leave? No? Typical."

i don't know what we'd do without that squid, sheesh. i feel for it though. a night of drinking and card-playing with adrian is enough to leave anyone feeling unsure of their species the next morning.

Waaaaaay back in the pre-history of this thread, VR was the first guy to write about H & V, and in the Panama Adventure, he's working on the Great Amercian Novel.


pshrynk (social historian)

Well, it's possible that I wrote the first few sentences about Vera (back in the pre-golden era of MR) but Harv was definitely PlanetHead's creation. Where is he, anyway? Or is he still stuck in the airport? Maybe the Transportation Safety Authority has confuscated his cranial container.

Edit - And he's writing it the same as he's checking the e-mail in RSE's book.

Huh? Did I miss something?

Well, it's possible that I wrote the first few sentences about Vera (back in the pre-golden era of MR) but Harv was definitely PlanetHead's creation. Where is he, anyway? Or is he still stuck in the airport? Maybe the Transportation Safety Authority has confuscated his cranial container.


Oh Dear Me! I hope that isn't the case. He's got a rather cute little cranial container there; we'd hate to see it damaged. Or lost, or anything.

The image of the squid's eyes "growing wide," knowing what I do about squidly orbs, is now permanently stuck in my brain. :eek:

"squidly orbs" heheheh...

I think photos of lawyers that you've run over are usually called "incriminating evidence". Hopefully he'll post pics when he's washed the blood off...

:dying with hysterical laughter and getting dr pepper all over my monitor..AGAIN: I've got to learn not to eat or drink anything while reading in here....

Well, it's possible that I wrote the first few sentences about Vera (back in the pre-golden era of MR) but Harv was definitely PlanetHead's creation. Where is he, anyway? Or is he still stuck in the airport? Maybe the Transportation Safety Authority has confuscated his cranial container.



Huh? Did I miss something?
Red walking VR, VR checking his e-mails...

I may have found a new character...
http://assets.comics.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/200000/70000/2000/300/272309/272309.full.gif (http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2009-02-12/)

I may have found a new character...
http://assets.comics.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/200000/70000/2000/300/272309/272309.full.gif (http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2009-02-12/)

:pandalol:

Make it a cockatiel, and when he's deprogrammed, he can say "Whatcha doin'?" "Who's a silly bird?" "Whatcha doin', silly bird?" and "Tweet!" At least, that covers the vocabulary mine has. He also sings in two styles, which we call the "march" and the "aria".

please can we have a "no food or drink warning" to attach to some of the threads (as well as the Silliness tag)

I'm here. Just back from Miami. Will spend tomorrow recuperating, then the next week on all the work that piled up while I was off working. Funny how that, err, works.

I do have the dubious honor of introducing Harv to the group, Think "hog calling" and "squeegee". It's nice to see that Harv, to use a Southernism, has managed to get above his raising, though to me he'll always be that lovable, amorous, long-haul trucker who's absolute devotion to his porcine princess Vera is a testament and inspiration.

ahmen to good news ....

I'm here. Just back from Miami. Will spend tomorrow recuperating, then the next week on all the work that piled up while I was off working. Funny how that, err, works.

I do have the dubious honor of introducing Harv to the group, Think "hog calling" and "squeegee". It's nice to see that Harv, to use a Southernism, has managed to get above his raising, though to me he'll always be that lovable, amorous, long-haul trucker who's absolute devotion to his porcine princess Vera is a testament and inspiration.
Oops! I guess I mis-remembered because when I wrote my first installment, VR had been saying that he was going to write a Harv and Vera story soon, and that got me confused. Looking back, yes, indeed, Taylor was the originator of Harv.

which instalment are we due now ?

which instalment are we due now ?

The next one, of course.
:)

will there be a next one ?

I was thinking of going back and doing the first one, actually...

I was thinking of going back and doing the first one, actually...

A prequel! Yes, go for it, pshrynk! There must be quite a back-story there.

oh, i would love to hear how it all started...

I'm sure that it all grew out of those socks... At any rate, they comment on the action in the manner of a Greek Chorus and, like said Chorus, provide the voice of reason.

Harv strained at his bindings. No use. They were quite well tied. "Biggles?" he said.

"Right here!" came the voice from behind him.

"Can you get out of the ropes?"

"Let me see, here." There was the sound of movement behind him. "Right! I can... Yes, I can just..." More scraping. "Yes! I can definitely say that the ropes are tied in a very professional fashiona and there is no hope of me slipping out of them!"

"Was it necessary to complement the guy who tied us up?"

"Well, credit due and all that, old boy!"

There was more scraping and a loud thud behind Harv. "I do believe that I have fallen over and there is still no means of slipping these ropes!"

"That's good to know. Now I won't try that myself, since that was right at the top of my list of things to do right now!"

"Glad to be of assistance, old boy!"

The door to the snmall room they were being held in slammed open. "Trying to make an escape were we?" asked a heavily accented voice.

"No, not really. Trynig to get out of these ropes, actually. Then, we may have gone on to making an escape."

"Sarcasm, Mr Wallbager? I would have thought that you would be past that at this moment, hmm?"

A short man with a quite pointy chin, a dueling scar, and a monacle came into Harv's view. "We will have to see about your use of sarcasm. We will have to ceratinly see..."

Von Schlepwig rounded on Harv's head with a pistol butt in his hand. Briefly, stars popped out all over, then went black.


Outside the window, three doggy shaped shadows clung to the side of the building.

"Oh! Senor Vivaldi! Was that truly Harv of your magnificent stories we just heard getting bashed on the head?" asked George.

"Sounds like. There's ususally a hollow goning sound like that when he gets conked."

"Do you think he would give me his autograph when he wakes up?"

"I'd say we should do something to make sure he wakes up first, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh, but he's Harv! He always gets away just in the nick of time!"

"No, he gets away, mostly long before any trouble starts. I just write him so that he gets away in the nick of time. Who wants to read a stroy about how the hero gets out of the room and goes out dringking for three or four hours before staggering back and tripping over the bad guys?

"Where is this Taxi Boss and the head of the Chihuahua Cartel, that I just joined? We may need back up!"

VR, don't tell them Harv isn't a hero! If you disillusion them too much, they may not want to help you anymore (or share their bacon, even!) Tell them things like "Harv always gets away in the nick of time, but that's because he has help from loyal friends!"

Or not, whatever. :shrug:

VR, don't tell them Harv isn't a hero! If you disillusion them too much, they may not want to help you anymore (or share their bacon, even!) Tell them things like "Harv always gets away in the nick of time, but that's because he has help from loyal friends!"

Or not, whatever. :shrug:

plus if you do that, you get some of the glory too !

so where is the taxi boss and head of the chihuahua cartel ?????

A short man with a quite pointy chin, a dueling scar, and a monacle came into Harv's view.

I don't recognize the name, but that description certainly sound like the Bad Guy in Rocky & Bullwinkle!! Oh yes, Boris. (Where's Natasha?) So that's what Boris' last name was? Or maybe it's a distant relative.....

I don't recognize the name, but that description certainly sound like the Bad Guy in Rocky & Bullwinkle!! Oh yes, Boris. (Where's Natasha?) So that's what Boris' last name was? Or maybe it's a distant relative.....Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. However, Boris was chubby and wore a black fedora.

Fearless Leader on the other hand...

Oh sorry --- but at least I got the right "Gang" !!

Was there ever a time when Hugo and Lefty had teeth, a time when they put the bite on people?

Or is it the Hex they put on people.

Hugo has a safety pin, as I recall....

Vera was feeling conflicted. This Bois Aussi character was certainly a handsome man. He had a steady and well-paying job. He had huge tracts of land in France. He was charming and a delight to talk to. He had read all the latest novels. He was pretty much everything that Harv was not.

But Harv was... well Harv. Which didn't have much going for it, if she really thought about it. But for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to get rid of the image of his ruggedly handsome face and his mastery of the art of risotto.

Right now, Bois Aussi was regaling her with a tale of the French President's state visit to the US three years ago. Vera didn't have the heart to tell him that she had been at the dinner as a guest of Del and El and certainly refrained from editing his version. She hadn't the heart.

"And then, right at the height of the ceremony, voila! The President's wife asks for a glass of champagne! The silence was deafening. Isuppose that there are no adequate champagne style sparkling wines grown in your country, eh? The embarrassment!"

"Not since Prohibition started, no. Where do you suppose that Frau Miyatake has her headquarters?" One thing about Harv, he may not talk much, but when he did, he stayed on topic.

"Well, looking a the map that les deux chiens described, it could be anywhere from 'musty and somewhat largish poodle' to 'indeterminate ancestry bitch with weak kidneys.' I am uncertain how to visualize that as a human, though."

"It does pose a problem. I wish Vivaldi was here. He could sort this out for me in an instant."

"Musty and largish poodle is at the corner of Avenida 5 and Calle de los Otras Revoluciones. Ms Weak Kidneys really is a bitch and stuck up to boot. She hangs out at Avenida 30 near the Mercado," said a voice near the floor.

"Thanks!" said Vera.

"No problem. Any bacon around here?"

Vera paused, looked down, pondered, and said, "Just wat the hell are you doing here?"

"Glad to see you, too, toots," said Vivaldi. "Who's the pimp with the outrageous French accent?"

oooh, holy grail flashback !! don't tell me, Bois Aussi's secret weapon is the ancestral art of taunting, refined over centuries of rigorous training ?

I was wondering if someone would get that. Took two segments...

two segments ?

two segments ?
Bois Aussi was misunderstood a few segments back when he was talking about messages/massages. No one picked up on it.:angry:

oh, i did see that. i just didn't mention it. there's so much going on in this story !

I got the outrageous French accent bit right away. :)

But where are the SOCKS????

I got the outrageous French accent bit right away. :)

But where are the SOCKS????
Shopping for Talavera pottery.

I got the outrageous French accent bit right away. :)
see ? i'm sure all the wildly intelligent and hyper-cultivated people following this story got it, even if we didn't mention it right away. don't worry pshrynk, we get you !

But where are the SOCKS????
yes seriously !! i think they've been mucking about in souvenir stands long enough, don't you ???

his mastery of the art of risotto.

At least Vera has the right priorities :)

At least Vera has the right priorities :)

she always does. :)

But where are the SOCKS????

With all that's been going on around them, they're probably in the laundry basket ....

We should all keep a close eye on the Bureau of Lost Socks. (http://www.funbureau.com/)

We should all keep a close eye on the Bureau of Lost Socks. (http://www.funbureau.com/)


There just had to be someone, somewhere, interested enough to make this site !!! :rofl:

(I just usually blame the cats).

The only time ours were ever interested in socks was when we filled them (the socks, not the cats) up with catnip.

So... where's the next installment? We were promised "continuing adventures of Harv & Vera" (and one HOPES, VR, the socks and the squid) over here!

continuing to wait ....

Vivaldi looked up at Vera. "What?"

"You're in Panama! With Harv!"

"Not exactly. Actually not so much there as here, if you can believe your eyes."

"Or your nose," said Bois Aussi, "Who is this malodorous, if talking, dog, ma chere?"

"Oh, it's 'ma chere,' is it?" Vivaldi went to the corner and laid down on the doggy bed there. "Completely forgotten about your fiance, have we?"

"No! Yes! Wait..." Vera hadn't felt this confused since the first time she'd tasted peach cobbler.

"A Fiance? Damn these qwerty keyboards with no accents! You did not tell me about a fiance? That makes you so much more intriguing, ma chere!"

"Wait! Harv is not my fiance! We have an 'arrangement.' Nothing else."

"I like the way you pronounce the quotation marks, there. The only reason you're not wearing a ring is that Harv can't afford one and keeps losing the one he wins in poker before the night is through. 'Arrangement,' my eye."

"Stop! You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here in Mexico City?"

"Oh, nothing, just thought we'd pop up here, shop for some Talavera pottery, rescue the damsel in distress, get waylaid by a gang of Nazis planning on destroying the US Pacific Fleet, get dragged off to a secret hideout by said NAzis, escape with just the collar on my neck, hear that the Nazis are going to kill Harv, and subsequently join the chihuahua cartel. Just a typical day. You?"

Vera paused to sort out the run on sentence. "WHAT?" she finally screamed out, "Did you say 'kill Harv?'"

"This Harv, he is your fiance, non?"

"This Harv, he is your fiance, non?"

Priceless ....

"A Fiancé? Damn these qwerty keyboards with no accents! You did not tell me about a fiancé? That makes you so much more intriguing, ma chère!"
i added my own damned accents ! :pandalol:

i added my own damned accents ! :pandalol:
thanks!

Everyone in the room turned to look at Vivaldi, who was scooting his butt across the carpet. "What?"

"Did you say that they were going to kill Harv?"

"That's what I heard. But you just go ahead and have this little tete a tete with French Guy, here. I'm pretty certain there were supposed to be accents in there somewhere."

"Hank, please tell Slite and Taxi Boss that I have to go! Harv is in trouble! I couldn't live with myself if he died!" Vera ran out the door and grabbed the first cab she saw. Vivaldi ran around in circles and barked, then ran after her.

"Pffft! The American women are so fickle!" said Bois Aussi. "I must get over this and cherche l'amour in other venues, non?"

He set his strong Gallic chin forward and walked resolutely to the back room.