I have a problem with my PC. It all started when I recently installed Open Office. There seems to be a major conflict between Open Office and Microsoft Office. At first there was a lot of noise like a car backfire only sharper. Now it will not even POST or boot. All comments and suggestions are welcome. I was converting several books for posting on MobileRead and unless I can get this working again I may have to start over on those books.

well i know your problem : it's microsoft office. it can't even play nicely with windows, forget open office. should have uninstalled it first (and ideally windows as well).

That picture is just like so many of my fondest dreams. :mellow:

That picture is just like so many of my fondest dreams. :mellow:

heh... i know... i often yearn to do that as well... :mellow:

It's obvious you need a chealating agent to remove the lead poisoning caused by MS Office. Or you could transmigrate your data using the autotranspositioner and have appear on dead tree stuff.

Bill Gates made sure MS Office has a nice poison pill that disconnects cables and breaks components resulting in your POST failing.

I've always found thermite to be a reliable troubleshooting tool.

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I personally guarantee that a computer treated with thermite will cause you no further trouble (save for disposal).

I've always found thermite to be a reliable troubleshooting tool.

<YOUTUBE>

I personally guarantee that a computer treated with thermite will cause you no further trouble (save for disposal).
I loved the dripping metal part.

I loved the dripping metal part.

Thermite does that to most metals.

You might not want to put FireFox on that computer. I hear that IE9 has an actual thermite control branch.

mine looked like that after an all night writing session

I've always found thermite to be a reliable troubleshooting tool.

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I personally guarantee that a computer treated with thermite will cause you no further trouble (save for disposal).
You suppose that voids the warranty?

I'm disappointed. The end should have included clips of the guy madly beating at the charred remains with a shovel. Only then can the experience be truly fulfilling. Also, I'd like to see a video of the destruction of the software that the poor hardware was probably at the mercy of: Microsoft Windows. Something that shows the individual bits of code during their final moments on earth would be lovely.

Admit the truth VR, you didn't like the end because no one dug a hole and put the computer in it -- you know, like you do with a bone. :D

Admit the truth VR, you didn't like the end because no one dug a hole and put the computer in it -- you know, like you do with a bone. :D

Okay, I admit it. You know what we do when we find something that smells particularly good and raunchy on the ground.

I see what the problem is - your PC is overheating - you need to add some more air holes to it. As a guide, ideally the metal between the holes on the sides, front and back should be no more than 2mm wide, although if you use the top for a shelf then you might be OK with going up to 5mm wide.

Don't forget you need good airflow through the case, so make sure any large blocks on the inside have adequate vents in them, too.

I remember an old Simpson's show where Homer bought a car with lots of "speed holes" in the sides. I guess it was only used by a little old lady gangster for getaways.

I remember an old Simpson's show where Homer bought a car with lots of "speed holes" in the sides. I guess it was only used by a little old lady gangster for getaways.

Homer didn't actually buy the car. It was from the show where Krusty opens a clown college to pay off some debts (in particular, to the Mob). Homer goes to the college and becomes a clown, and discovers the benefits of being mistaken for Krusty.

In one scene, a car salesmen is trying to sell Homer (as Krusty) a car, that Homer has asked for for free. The Mob tries to shoot him from afar, and when Homer asks what the resultant holes are in the side of the car, the salesman says they're "speed holes" that "make the car go faster".

Later on, Homer is shown taking to his own car with a pickaxe to create "speed holes".

I'm sure you're all relieved now that I've fully elaborated on Valerie's point above. Now, if only I can get him to not refer to it as "an old Simpsons show", thus reminding me that I've been watching it for coming up 20 years, then all will be right with the world (though to be honest, I think The Simpsons jumped the shark with The Principle And The Pauper, in Season 9).

Cheers,
Marc

The Simpsons may be one of the only shows that has been able to jump back over the shark again (or jump the dolphin, or whatever... I'm failing on metaphor, help me someone!)

Anyhoo, my thought was that you should have a serious talk with your computer about the company it's been keeping. Many people have trouble talking with their computers about peer pressure, gang membership, etc., but it's important to try to address these issues as soon as symptoms appear. :cool:

PS: I think Hugo and Lefty are running some rehab classes-- you might want to contact Zelda for details, when she gets back home.

rehab classes ? pfff ! lefty scoffs at such an outlandish idea, and hugo won't admit it but secretly enjoys the thrills, even if it does sometimes get to be a little too much.

besides, sometimes "having a serious talk" is over-rated and it's best just to try to act casually and say nothing.

I did catch the computer asking for advice from Dr. Bad Advice since his rates are somewhat lower (free) than the sharp toothed rabbit (I think it is the same one that bit Jimmy Carter.) At least this way (using Dr. Bad Advice) means that I do not have to pay the laddy by the door on behalf of the computer.

rehab classes ? pfff ! lefty scoffs at such an outlandish idea, and hugo won't admit it but secretly enjoys the thrills, even if it does sometimes get to be a little too much.

besides, sometimes "having a serious talk" is over-rated and it's best just to try to act casually and say nothing.

Oh, I thought it was Lefty's idea. Maybe the wristies were just pulling my leg. ;)

I don't know about acting casually when your computer comes home full of bullet holes and the hard drive and other components have been stripped. In fact, did the computer even make it home, or was it found lying on a river bank somewhere? It was probably hanging out in some shady chat or IRC channel and thought it was meeting up somewhere to get some cracked warez.... I'd say limiting internet access might be called for, at the very least. Sometimes a system just has to face some consequences in order to be convinced to start taking responsibility for its own firmware. :sternlook:

Oh, I thought it was Lefty's idea. Maybe the wristies were just pulling my leg. ;)

I don't know about acting casually when your computer comes home full of bullet holes and the hard drive and other components have been stripped. In fact, did the computer even make it home, or was it found lying on a river bank somewhere? It was probably hanging out in some shady chat or IRC channel and thought it was meeting up somewhere to get some cracked warez.... I'd say limiting internet access might be called for, at the very least. Sometimes a system just has to face some consequences in order to be convinced to start taking responsibility for its own firmware. :sternlook:
wow. :stunned: i guess it's clear who between the two of us has teenagers at home. do you think i could borrow that :sternlook: of yours ? i can think of at least one person it could be really useful on...

wow. :stunned: i guess it's clear who between the two of us has teenagers at home. do you think i could borrow that :sternlook: of yours ? i can think of at least one person it could be really useful on...
The funny thing is, the kids have actually been pretty good for a couple of weeks now. (It's kinda scary, in a way. :eek: )

The :sternlook: works better on my students than on my own kids-- kids develop an immunity to this sort of thing from their parents. Here are directions: Tilt head down slightly, so you are looking at recipient through upper part of glasses (whether or not you have bifocals, or even normally wear glasses). Compress lips slightly. Furrowed brow optional. This is the important part: Think loudly --but do not say out loud-- "I know you know better than that."

thanks. i will try to remember those instructions.

wow. :stunned: i guess it's clear who between the two of us has teenagers at home. do you think i could borrow that :sternlook: of yours ? i can think of at least one person it could be really useful on...
It doesn't work upstream. :D

It doesn't work upstream. :D
Meaning, on one's own parents? I think I could use it on my mom. (In fact, I think I did, when she arranged to meet someone in NYC that she'd "met" on the internet!) My dad's feelings would be hurt. :p

I see what the problem is - your PC is overheating - you need to add some more air holes to it. As a guide, ideally the metal between the holes on the sides, front and back should be no more than 2mm wide, although if you use the top for a shelf then you might be OK with going up to 5mm wide.

Don't forget you need good airflow through the case, so make sure any large blocks on the inside have adequate vents in them, too.I suggest a 12 gauge slug for this purpose, it should quickly and easily ventilate the case and any "large blocks" that might be in it.

Remember, as I always say: nothing makes an impression quite like a 12 gauge slug!

The funny thing is, the kids have actually been pretty good for a couple of weeks now. (It's kinda scary, in a way. :eek: )

The :sternlook: works better on my students than on my own kids-- kids develop an immunity to this sort of thing from their parents. Here are directions: Tilt head down slightly, so you are looking at recipient through upper part of glasses (whether or not you have bifocals, or even normally wear glasses). Compress lips slightly. Furrowed brow optional. This is the important part: Think loudly --but do not say out loud-- "I know you know better than that."

My mom could always stop me cold with a look. See, when she was a teenager in the '50s, she was in a motorcycle accident. Went off a bridge and hit the rocks below. So her left eyebrow had a scar that made is sort of jaggedy. She could chill my blood when she lifted that eyebrow at me! Of course, as a teen, I mocked and teased her about her scary hairy eyebrow. BTW, despite the brow, she was a tall, slender, regal beauty. I take after my dad's side of the family.